Whoa Z and x make the same sound
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
