u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
