just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i need some magic done to my vagina
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
