where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
