went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
