what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize