If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we're so committed to being not committed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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