honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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