I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
