still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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