I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize