ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

  Fav 9 952 2916

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

  (1-518): View more from New York

  True? Did she teach you things?

  (518): View more from New York

  She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

  Fav 13 3072 947

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

  Fav 27 6597 1091

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

  Fav 29 1404 4902

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

  Fav 36 6436 1701

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore

  Fav 10 4802 1684

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

  Fav 11 1276 3141

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

  Fav 2 1862 1020

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

  Fav 6 2649 1032

  share tweet
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.

  Fav 5 1415 662

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night

  Fav 9 1849 802

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex

  Fav 3 1290 655

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.

  Fav 0 652 505

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.

  Fav 0 63 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (770): View more from Georgia

  imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you

  Fav 0 54 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize