I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
