I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize