you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
