playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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