i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
