Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
