Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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