Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I want her autograph on my taint
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
