Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
