Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
