So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I just went to clothing optional bar
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
