Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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