oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
