We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
