he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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