I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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