drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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