What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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