I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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