so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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