Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
