Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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