Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
