yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
from now on my penis is your penis
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
how does that bad decision feel?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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