This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
