so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
