Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
