Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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