I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
