in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize