I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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