Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
