why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
