never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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