Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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