She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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