gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
