dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
