So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
