Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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