Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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