Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
