wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
