i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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