Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
