And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
