Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
