last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
