I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
