I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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