i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
