There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
